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Saturday, 05 September 2015 15:11


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I thought I had found the right person for me...someone I could spend forever with. It was so beautiful & euphoric that I thought this was it. It was like all the stars in the universe had conspired to smile at me at the same time. I was basking in the very joy & bliss of knowing that, indeed, true love wasn't  banished to just the fairy-tales on the pages of novels or the scripts of Hollywood movies. But after a year of dating, I had to break up with him. I couldn’t believe that what had started so well could end so fast...and so painfully.


Many of us have been through such a similar experience...either as the villain or the victim. For one thing, a breakup could be painful even for the person who initiated it. You may think for a minute this person was in your life and you had beautiful plans for the future and then the next minute, they are gone.

However, a breakup no matter how painful could, sometimes, be a good thing. If you aren't happy with someone you are dating, you probably won't be happy when you are married to them anyway.  In a situation like that, breaking up could just be the best for all parties involved.


A breakup doesn't necessarily make you a failure and not all courtships end in a marriage. If you or your partner has serious misgivings, the  best decision may well be to move on. If that happens, the fact that the relationship failed doesn't in any way mean that you have failed or that you're a failure in life. Far from that. You can move on. There are always better days ahead... HOW???


1.ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN NO MATTER HOW EXCRUCIATING IT MAY BE: Sometimes, the best way out of pain is to go through it, not finding a frantic escape route out of it. Acknowledging the bitter reality of what you are feeling is usually the first step to healing. Admission, not denial. Not withdrawal either; just pure admission that the pain is there & it is tearing you into shreds. It is okay to cry (yes peeps, it is!)...let it all out and more often than not, you will feel better afterwards.


2. ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE WHO TRULY & HONESTLY CARE ABOUT YOU: This may not be easy, but soon you'll realize how spending time with close friends &  loved ones can help build you up, especially when you're trying to get through a very tough period of your life. You tend to have a better frame of mind and gradually forget what has happened, as you are magically distracted instead by positive & fun-filled activities that keep your mind away from the traumatic feelings that lurk around following a painful breakup.


3. LEARN FROM WHAT HAPPENED : Examine yourself and look for areas you need to grow. Are there things you would like to do differently in your next relationship? Life is tough. It's tough because there is no script out there that best prepares you for what lies ahead. So, you have got to pick up the pieces each time life's test throws you into a state of psychological disaster. It's is the exact lessons you pick up from those very bitter & painful situations that help mold your own script that unwittingly forms the compass that guides you through life. So, the more you fall, the more lessons you pick up along the way, & the richer or more robust your own script becomes to better prepare you for the storms that lie ahead. These storms are sometimes inexorable or inevitable & those are the little things that make life truly beautiful & wonderful.


While it is true that ending a relationship might be difficult,  you can grow and learn from it. Start your healing process today.


By: Kindness Okoli


Edited By: Isaac Audu-Usman

Read 881 times

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